You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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