You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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