two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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