What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize