all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here