Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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