Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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