I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
