I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
