i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
4 words: hood of his car
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
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We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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