My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
