I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize