it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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