Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
