you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
