end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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