YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize