North Korea, Best Korea!
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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