do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
