she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
