Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Is it because I queefed?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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