super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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