Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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