I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
