I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize