Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
