I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Boobs are out for the taking
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
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