i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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