bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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