laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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