What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
