About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
