well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
