i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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