did you get engaged???
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
