I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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