Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
