He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
