I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
