if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Also, beer. Big fan.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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