I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
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suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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