Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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