Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
