He is an equal opportunity slut.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
