You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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