yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
