Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
