corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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