Pappa wants mamma naked
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
high people should be assigned attendants
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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