thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
