Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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