I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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