is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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