We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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