she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
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You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
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You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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