A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize