Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
